How to Get Your Partner to Be More Interested in Sex

Whether you are in an intimate relationship already and you want to rekindle your sex life, or you want to take the step to be physically intimate with your partner for the first time, this can be daunting to both of you. There are a number of ways to get your partner to be more interested in sex with open communication being key.

Try not to take it personally. Lots of couples have different sex drives. Just because your partner is not interested in sex as much as you are does not mean that he or she is not attracted to you. In fact, there are lots of other reasons why your partner may not want to have sex as much as you do, such as:

·      hormone deficiencies

·      feeling sick

·      poor self-image

·      fatigue

·      stress

·      low mood or depression

Improve everyday communications with your partner. Having a good emotional relationship with your partner may lead to a better sex life. Start taking time to talk to your partner as a friend. Show your interest in your partner’s happiness and well-being. Some good ways to improve communication include:

·      Asking about your partner’s day. Make time to sit down and chat with your partner at least once per day, such as during dinner or over your morning coffee. Say something like, “How was work?” or “Did you have a good time with your friends?” or “What do you have going on today?”

·      Calling or texting during the day. Staying in touch throughout the day can also help to improve your communication. Try sending your partner a quick text or calling just to say hi. You might text your partner something like, “Thinking about you. What are you up to right now?” or call and say “Hey, how’s your day going so far?”

·      Listening. Use good listening skills when your partner is talking to show that you are interested and engaged. For example, face your partner, make eye contact with your partner, nod your head, and make neutral statements to indicate your attention, such as “Yes,” “I see,” and “Go on.”

Let your partner know how you feel. It is important to let your partner know that you would like to have sex more often and any other concerns that you have about your sexual relationship. Telling your partner these things can make it easier for you and your partner to come up with solutions to the problem.

·      For example, you can start a conversation about your sex life by saying something like, "I feel closer to you when we have sex on a regular basis, but we haven't been doing that as much lately. Is everything okay?”

·      Keep in mind that your partner might have had bad sexual experiences in the past with partners who were not as considerate or understanding. Be considerate and let her know she can tell you things without your judgment (if that is true of you).

Be patient. Don't let your thoughts and actions be controlled by your wish for physical intimacy. Building a foundation for physical love takes time. Consider backing off for a while to allow your partner time to be ready for sex on his or her own time.

·      There will be many, many opportunities to have sex in a relationship, so in the grand scheme of things it's probably not all that big of a deal to have a bit less sex than you would ideally like.