How to Helping Your Partner Last Longer

Approach the subject as a team. Sexual performance can be a sensitive subject. Bring up the topic by telling your partner that you value them and the intimacy you share. Let them know that you don’t see it as something they have to fix on their own. Rather, tell them that you want to work on your sex life as a team.

·      You could say, “This isn’t just on you - we should work together to make our sex life the best it can be. Plus, I’m excited to work on pleasing each other as much as possible!”

Avoid assigning blame. Try to be optimistic and constructive instead of making your partner feel like there’s something wrong with them.

·      Say something like, “I care about you and want you to know I’m not judging you in any way. I know we can work together to build our physical and emotional intimacy.”

Be open and patient about trying out new techniques. Ask your partner what they think might work. Do your best to keep the conversation honest but low-pressure. Have patience, try out new techniques, and see what works best for you and your partner.

·      Tell them, “This is a process that might take some time, and that’s totally normal. Let’s just try out some new tricks and see what works.”

Consider going to couples therapy. Performance issues can put a strain on a relationship. While it’s helpful to approach the situation as a team, you should also be honest about all of your feelings, including frustration. Couples counseling could help you and your partner sort out complex emotions and explore issues that might be interfering with intimacy.

·      When you discuss counseling, try not to frame it negatively. Instead, you could say, “We’re both feeling a lot of emotions, and I think a counselor could give us a fresh perspective. It’s better if we sort through our feelings instead of take them out on each other.”