How to Stop Thinking About Sex

Thinking about sex is perfectly natural. We're hormonal, sexual beings, whose genes drive us to procreate. But sometimes, sexual thoughts can become overwhelming, making it difficult to focus and difficult to get simple things done. However, it's possible for those urges and desires to become more like background noise as you go through your everyday life, especially when you should be thinking more about career, education, health, interests and hobbies, family and friends, money, etc. Read after the jump to begin learning to stop thinking about sex.

Understand and anticipate categories of triggers. While it might be easy to identify specific triggers or situational triggers, such as those above, try to see if you can isolate patterns to your triggers. This understanding can help you become more proactive about the types of things to avoid when trying to decrease sexual thoughts.

·      Do your triggers tend to be more visual or more verbal? Men, for example, tend to be more turned on by visual stimuli, while women might be more affected by verbal ones.

Know your own particular triggers. If a particular person, time of day, or emotion always leads you to distracting thoughts about sex, learn to identify those triggers that drag your mind into the gutter. Create a list of your triggers. Maybe you always think about sex:

·      First thing in the morning.

·      During a particular class, like gym, yoga, etc.

·      On the bus.

·      When you're supposed to be studying or working.

·      When you're around the opposite/same sex.

·      In bed.

Make it difficult to look at pornography. While it might seem like a way to satisfy sexual urges temporarily, developing an unhealthy reliance on or relationship with pornography could spiral into more and more sexual thoughts, making it very hard to get free of their grip.

·      Get rid of pornographic videos, magazines, calendars, and other materials in your house and, to the best of your ability, avoid watching it.

·      If you have a firewall guard in your computer, try to enable parental controls, and put the profile to teen so you won't accidentally stumble across any pornography. Parental controls don’t have to be just for kids, of course, and you can set them up on all your browsers and other devices.

Keep a list of unsexy topics. This is basically what you consider the opposite of sexy. You could try turning yourself off by training yourself to think of unsexy things when your mind drifts into sexual territory. Anything that you would consider an unsexy mental diversion could work here.

·      Try thinking about neutral pleasant topics like scenic outdoor views, underwater scenes, puppies, sports bloopers, or chess strategy.

·      You could think of cold-related topics like big and bulky clothing, snow, or winter.

Replace your triggers with other thoughts and topics. Get in your own way and don't allow yourself to think about sex by focusing on these other things. It will become second nature before too long.

·      Find something to do immediately as a diversion. If you're always dwelling on sex during idle bus rides, for example, make a special effort to do something else during your ride, like finishing some homework, reading a new book, or talking to a friend. Or, if you start thinking about sex at boring points in a class, a meeting, or at work, for example, you might start taking notes. By keeping your pen moving, you'll have to stay focused on the conversation at hand and not what's going on in your mind.

·      Keep discussion topics top of mind. If you can't run into a particular person without thinking about sex and getting embarrassed, come up with three specific things you want to ask them next time you see them. You could also come up with more thought-provoking topics that apply to most people, such as those surrounding current events, global affairs, the environment, or even politics.

 
Make a commitment to yourself. Make a minimum goal to curb your sexual thoughts so that they don't distract you from your other daily activities, such as work or school, and commit to it.

·      If you need help remembering your commitment, wear a piece of jewelry or a simple string around your wrist that will remind you to power through the temptation to get lost in sexual thought.

·      Tell someone about your goal. Telling a trusted friend or family member about your efforts is a good way to help you stay accountable. Have them check in with you regularly to see that you’re doing okay and to provide help or suggestions, if needed.

·      Reward yourself for keeping your commitment. This should be pretty straightforward. You could reward yourself with a favorite dessert, a shopping trip, or something else you like.

Don't beat yourself up. Thinking about sex is a big part of adolescence and adulthood, and you don't need to feel guilty about it. The only way sexual thoughts become a problem is if you can't focus on what you want to think about. Remember that it’s not always going to be difficult, and the present urge will pass.