How to Create Sexual Tension

Sexual tension is that potent chemistry between you and someone else that gives you butterflies and makes you nervous and excited all at once. Whether you’re flirting with someone you just met or you’re trying to turn a friendship into something more, creating this chemistry is a crucial step. With flirtatious touches, witty lines, and plenty of confidence, you can ratchet up the sexual tension and get both of you excited for whatever comes next.

Touch them in a casual, almost accidental way. When you first start talking to someone you’re interested in, start to establish touch early on by simply brushing up against them, or touching the back of their hand or shoulder. You can make it look like an accident at first, then get more purposeful when you start to get more comfortable with each other.

·      If the person returns your interest, either by continuing the conversation or even touching you in return, get more purposeful. Try touching the small of their back or grabbing their arm or hand gently to escalate the tension.

·      If you’re sure of their interest, try lightly grazing the side of their face. To make it more subtle, say something like, “I’ve got to get that hair out of your face, hold on… there you go.”

Look into their eyes like you’re intrigued and excited by them. Sustaining eye contact is a simple way to ratchet up the tension between you. Don’t simply look at them; look right into their eyes and give a half-smile, like you’re trying to figure them out. Glance away, then look back again.

·      Looking deeply into their eyes shows that you’re invested and intrigued by them, which will in turn make them feel mysterious, attractive, and confident enough to keep flirting.

·      Remember not to stare at them! Stay natural, glancing away from time to time, but allows yourself to make eye contact for a little longer than you usually would before looking away.

Start a low-key conversation to break the ice. Whether you’re just meeting this person for the first time or are looking to take an established friendship to the next level, your interaction should start at a place that’s comfortable for this point in the relationship. Bring up at topic you’ll both have something to say about, and encourage them to keep talking about it in a subtle, flirtatious way.

Tell a more personal or flirtatious story. Once you’ve broken the ice, start subtly introducing the idea of something more. Tell a story about a time someone was flirting with you and something funny happened, or point out other people who are flirting or teasing each other. Don’t be obvious about it; keeping the sexual undertone in the subtext will make it all the more alluring.

·      Say something like, “Look at Amanda and Robbie right now. They’ve been flirting all night. How much do you wanna bet that he’s gonna ask her to dance later?”

·      Try telling a personal story by saying something like, “The last time I was at this bar, the craziest thing happened. I was talking to this girl, and… well, I don’t know if I should tell you.”

Pull them closer and push them away, verbally and physically, to add tension. Creating a push-and-pull dynamic is one of the best ways to create sexual tension; you’ll show them you’re interested—but not too interested—then back off to keep them wanting more. You can do this both verbally and physically to create an exciting, flirty interaction.

Pique their curiosity by only sharing as much as you need to. An air of mystery is key to building sexual tension. Playing with their curiosity will intrigue them and make them want to figure you out. When they ask a question, answer simply, telling just enough to get their interest, then turn the question back to them. If you’re telling a story, don’t ramble on; instead, give it in short pieces, making sure to pique their interest before the next part.

Be confident and believe that they’re interested in you, even if you’re not sure. Confidence is one of the most attractive traits you can have, and exuding it can help ramp up sexual tension fast. If you don’t feel confident naturally, though, you can still fake it and reap the rewards

Take things slow physically, making sure they feel comfortable and secure. Rushing into physical aspects is always a bad idea. If the other person isn’t ready for it, you’ll put them in an uncomfortable or even scary position. Even if they are in the mood for something more, going fast can make you look desperate and ruin the sexual tension. Instead, make sure that you both want the same things, and that you’re both feeling safe and comfortable.

·      Say something like, “Are you OK with this?” or “I want what you want. What do you feel like?”

·      Moving slowly can also be sexy in its own right. Drawing out your experiences together will make you both crave more, and the sexiest thing is knowing that someone wants you as much as you want them.