How to Making Changes to Your Sex Life
Talk with your partner about your sexual desires. This is an
especially important step if your libido doesn't exactly align with that of
your partner. Be candid about how frequently you'd like to have sex. Clarify
any other sexual goals that you might have, such as trying out new things in
the bedroom. Discuss what you do and don't identify as sexual acts.
· For example,
your partner might consider hugging to be a sexual act. If you think that
hugging is romantic, but not sexual, then this could lead to mixed signals and
miscommunication.
Schedule times for sex. This sounds
exactly the opposite of the spontaneous romantic tryst, but it can actually
work. Set aside a few times a week, depending on your schedules, when you can
definitely spend an extended period of alone, intimate time. Women, in
particular, are known to get a libido boost by anticipating these sexual
periods.
· While the
scheduling can remain consistent, what you actually do in the bedroom can be as
a creative or traditional as you both prefer. This is one way to add a bit of spark
to the routine.
Give each other a full-body massage. This is a way to feel less hurried and to spend time arousing one another pre-sex. Get some massage oils, dim the lights, turn on soothing music, and spend 30 minutes or so massaging each other. Focus on the entire body and apply pressure as needed. Not only does this increase blood flow, it can relax you both and lead to more, better sex.
· Don't worry if
you aren't sure how to give a massage. You can't make a mistake if you ask your
partner for feedback as you go along. You might say, “How does this feel?”
· You can also
watch professional massage videos online, or even take a class at a local
college, if you want to expand your skill set.
Include at least 15 minutes of foreplay before sex. Arousal isn't simply a switch that you can turn off and on. Giving yourself plenty of time to kiss and touch one another will help to increase desire. During this time, try to just focus on each other and forget anything else that's going on in your lives.
· Foreplay also
helps to get your body ready for intercourse, which can make the actual act
more pleasurable.

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