How to Making Changes to Your Sex Life


Talk with your partner about your sexual desires. This is an especially important step if your libido doesn't exactly align with that of your partner. Be candid about how frequently you'd like to have sex. Clarify any other sexual goals that you might have, such as trying out new things in the bedroom. Discuss what you do and don't identify as sexual acts.
·      For example, your partner might consider hugging to be a sexual act. If you think that hugging is romantic, but not sexual, then this could lead to mixed signals and miscommunication.



Schedule times for sex. This sounds exactly the opposite of the spontaneous romantic tryst, but it can actually work. Set aside a few times a week, depending on your schedules, when you can definitely spend an extended period of alone, intimate time. Women, in particular, are known to get a libido boost by anticipating these sexual periods.
·      While the scheduling can remain consistent, what you actually do in the bedroom can be as a creative or traditional as you both prefer. This is one way to add a bit of spark to the routine.


Give each other a full-body massage. This is a way to feel less hurried and to spend time arousing one another pre-sex. Get some massage oils, dim the lights, turn on soothing music, and spend 30 minutes or so massaging each other. Focus on the entire body and apply pressure as needed. Not only does this increase blood flow, it can relax you both and lead to more, better sex.
·      Don't worry if you aren't sure how to give a massage. You can't make a mistake if you ask your partner for feedback as you go along. You might say, “How does this feel?”
·      You can also watch professional massage videos online, or even take a class at a local college, if you want to expand your skill set.



Include at least 15 minutes of foreplay before sex. Arousal isn't simply a switch that you can turn off and on. Giving yourself plenty of time to kiss and touch one another will help to increase desire. During this time, try to just focus on each other and forget anything else that's going on in your lives.
·      Foreplay also helps to get your body ready for intercourse, which can make the actual act more pleasurable.


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